Times of transition in our kids’ lives.
Kinder, Prep, Year One, Year six and off to high school. We can probably all look back at our own childhood and remember at least one of those transitional times that caused upset, upheaval and sometimes even turned things upside-down.
Our first day at kinder, or first day of school. Emotionally charged times, not just for us when we were kids but for our parents too, and now for many of us, as parents ourselves. It is a time of change in which children, families and the schools adjust to new roles, identities, expectations, interactions and relationships.
When you look back now, can you remember anything about that time that made it easier? In reflection, can you remember those feelings, those worries, the trepidation? ‘Will anybody like me, how am I going to know where to go, what to do, who to talk to?. What happens if I want to come home?’
Little did we know the amount of planning, the time, the effort invested in making these times of transition as easy as possible for all kids. Would we have felt better knowing that schools, teachers, parents and even the government recognised the importance of getting it right? Probably not, but that is what goes on. At least now. If you were a child in the 80s or earlier, your path was probably slightly rockier, but we have learned a lot since then.
Many organisations, schools and the Department of Education provide great resources for parents to access, all offering advice, support and information about transitions. You’ll find a list below this article if you’d like to check some out.
Why are successful transitions so important?
Essentially, a well-managed and positive transition builds confidence in our kids. It helps them to feel more confident in their own abilities, have a more positive attitude to learning and be more willing to talk to you about difficulties they may be experiencing.
Each positive outcome builds a roadmap of experience that they can refer back to for the rest of their lives. Equally, negative experiences also add to that roadmap, however if handled well, can become opportunities themselves. Opportunities to analyse situations, ‘Why didn’t that go well? What can I do differently next time?’. Opportunities to develop new skills or work on improving existing ones.
When young people develop new skills to manage new situations, it increases their sense of competency which in turn builds positive mental health and wellbeing.
Ways to assist during transitions
As a parent, you are your child’s go-to for help, advice, support and you are their ‘safe space’. You can guide and support all these crucial transition times. Like most things in life, it comes down to planning.
Planning and practice can be tremendously calming for kids facing new situations. Talk them through a new routine or walk them through a new scenario. Offer them the opportunity to physically see and feel themselves in their new role. Model how things will work and run through them multiple times. Practice brings familiarity, and familiarity can banish anxiety.
Be open and honest and let your child explore their feelings around the upcoming changes. We are well past the time when our young people don’t get to have a voice. Building trust and honesty with your child sets a foundation for life.
Offer choice (if at all possible). The more a child feels they are choosing, the more control they feel they have over the situation. Even something small like selecting their schoolbag or waterbottle or having input into what they take to school for lunch all adds to their certainty that they are being heard.
Change is inevitable
As adults we know that very few things in life stay the same. Let’s learn to embrace change with a positive outlook and teach our kids that change can be good, can be healthy and can bring us happiness. The more practice they have at this now, the better equipped they will become to tackle the many changes ahead.
Resources:
For younger children
Raising Children – The Australian parenting website https://raisingchildren.net.au/school-age/school-learning/school-choosing-starting-moving/starting-school
Victoria Dept of Education – Transition, a positive start to school
https://www.education.vic.gov.au/Documents/childhood/professionals/learning/Transition%20to%20School%20Resource%20Kit%202017%20FINAL.pdf
Australian Institute of family studies
https://aifs.gov.au/research/family-matters/no-90/starting-school
For older children
Headspace – National youth mental health foundation
Victorian government
https://www.vic.gov.au/moving-primary-secondary-school-information-parents-and-carers